What can the shy stuff inside me teach me about who I was made to be in Jesus?
That is the question I write to. Because I have this shy stuff inside me and I have a hunch that we all do. Shy stuff… like the moments when we look around at our lives and ask ourselves that question. Who do I think I am?
My name is Maggie. I am wife to my Nano, a young mommy to my two little girls, and often I’m a quiet person. If you ask the people who have known me and my life to describe me in one word you might get answers like quiet or shy. Because shy is a huge part of my testimony. But shy is not who I am. Because while if you see me tomorrow you might see someone who looks somewhat shy, the truth is that I once was shy. But that is not me.
I used to define myself by my shy moments. But I am found in Jesus Christ and, as such, I am so much more than that. The shy stuff inside me is a gift to point me there.
Who do I think I am? I used to feel so alone with this question. I felt like everyone saw me as the shy girl and I struggled with labeling myself that way too. And it felt like very few people could relate with my shy struggles. But the more I shared with people the more it felt like I wasn’t alone at all… because they started sharing with me too.
When I know someone is struggling with this question, I want so very deeply to reach out and connect with them somehow, to share my struggles too. And finding that place to connect and share can be hard. Writing here is a way that I try to find that place.
This place is for you. My writing might not be for you, because we might think differently and that’s okay. If my writing isn’t a place that helps you make peace with your shy stuff, I think the story pile can be and I hope you give the pile a visit.
Maybe you know the shy moments in your own way. Maybe the way that you deal with them doesn’t look shy from the outside, but maybe it feels shy on the inside. Maybe you find it hurts to think about those moments. Maybe you often try not to think about it. Maybe your life is so busy you haven’t found time to think about them, but they’re still there messing with you in the back of your mind. Maybe you’re like me and you want to answer those moments by doing more to offer an answer, when it never quite feels like enough. Maybe you try to tell yourself that you don’t care about those moments when you know you really do. I don’t know how you deal with those moments.
But I want to offer this space, this place for story, to reach into the shy stuff inside us all because I believe those shy moments are secret gifts. I believe they’re gifts that point us to the answer.
Let’s look inside and take up the lifelong journey of finding our own unique identity in Jesus.