I try to hold onto time to feel good about me… and I do it all the wrong way and I end up feeling bad about me. Do you ever live there?
I like to think about God’s grace, but sometimes I go beyond thinking about Him as graceful. Let me explain.
This is the Revelation letter to the church of Sardis that we studied in Bible study this week:
“And to the angel of the church in Sardis write: ‘The words of him who has the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. “‘I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God. Remember, then, what you received and heard. Keep it, and repent. If you will not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come against you.”
My God loves me so much that He will not tolerate my sin. He loves me so much that He asks me to repent, that He’s always open to my repentance.
The speaker’s words were convicting today. Constant repentance, she said. I want to live thinking that I don’t have anything to repent of right now, that, sure I’ve repented of things in my past, that I repent of things when things come up. I don’t want to think that I need to do it all the time. I want to hold on to time to feel good about me... and I forget that avoiding repentance will never allow me to feel good about me. When I live willing, eager, to bring my sin to Him, I have freedom to feel good about who I am in Him. (Phil. 3:9) “Put off your pride and insecurity and repent,” she said. Pride and insecurity? Are those really things that exist together? Maybe its true that it takes putting off both of those things in order to accept the fact that I need repentance. Grace. It calls me not to pride or to insecurity, but to confidence in the privilege His risen life gives me: to come to His throne constantly asking for the repentance I need.
May we live our lives putting off our insecurities to bring our sin into His presence. May we bring our pride to Him too and may our sin be so repulsive to us that we cannot delay repenting. Because if we really want to find joy in who we are, we can put off the pride and find ourselves in Jesus. May we repent with confidence in the grace and forgiveness of my God.
Day 20 in 31 Days of Listening