The Gift of Feeling Uninspired

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“Jesus then said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but my Father gives you the true bread from heaven.” John 6:32

Today is full of sunshine and clutter, giggles and bread crumbs. Today has been a day of finger painting and foggy thinking.

I see unconnected dots in my mind, like random pieces of a picture, and I want so much to connect them so I can see the beauty that they complete together. I feel uninspired because today there are no words to connect the things in my head. But maybe today it is a gift to sit without knowing how to connect the thoughts of today in words. Maybe it’s okay to just absorb the unconnected dots and thoughts of my life as they are and receive the beauty of them in Christ’s presence. Maybe its okay to offer myself this way.

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Jesus spoke of those who thought Moses gave manna, when manna was from the Father. And maybe I am guilty of thinking I do something that God alone does. Maybe I think I connect dots with my writing and forget that God connects the dots of life.

For today, as small as it feels, I can rejoice in the day that God has made by giving worship with the unconnected dots of my life.

For today, when my finger painting feels as messy as my daughters, I can find joy in pink and yellow smudges that don’t look like much.

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I can be okay knowing He will connect the dots and paint the bigger picture.

Maybe sometimes I try to make it complicated, when it is much more simple. Maybe when I try to offer my life and all I can seem to make is childlike “scribble-scrabble” maybe it’s okay.

In my striving to make it all look how I think it should before I offer it…

Maybe He just longs for me to delight in making the scribbles that I am even able to offer.

Maybe He longs for me to scribble with the freedom that my daughter does.

Because though I can’t see it, He’s taking all my scribbles and making the picture complete.

Here’s to giving Him my scribbles and trusting Him to find them beautiful.

My prayer is that you find God's grace pouring through your insecure moments. In this audio series, you'll receive a few quiet minutes of encouragement each month free in your email inbox. I hope it helps you find sweet gifts inside the feelings.

When Relationships Feel Broken: 3 Truths that Bring Peace

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Relationships are the only place we can give and receive the thing we were created for. Love. We thrive on relationships because they are what allow us to be human people who do what we were created to do. But those same relationships can also bring us the hardest kind of struggles, because not only are the people we choose to love messy, but because we are messy. We all struggle through our relationships at times. We all feel the smallness that our own mess can cause in another’s life. It was a while back, when processing the shy feelings of that, that I wrote this, and I want to share it now. This was me finding grace in the midst of the hurt I can cause. Whatever kind of friendship or relationship it may be, maybe you have known this same kind of smallness recently. It is a smallness that offers us so many of these gifts in pointing to the relationship we most deeply long for.    

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I am broken, wanting, looking for the grace God offers in the people on this earth who I want to be loved by.

I am messy. I cause hurt.

But I long for love still. For same-day grace, no matter how little I deserve it. I’ve never seen same day grace when I caused hard hurt. Not in anyone on this earth.

And Jesus died for me while I was still sinning. (Rm 5) He considered me worth it. And Jesus is able to carry me through the times when people I love are still trying to work through the hurt I cause. The Savior is able to draw me closer to Him and able to draw me closer to the people I love if that is part of the perfect plan.

I see all my hurt can cause… their hurt, their inability to act from love as they normally would. And I ask why they can’t accept me the way God does. But there’s so many things I have forgotten. Perhaps God allows it all to help me remember…

1. Relationships are hard because the picture we’re made to show is one that flesh cannot perfect. That is why we thirst for more, for the one relationship we’re made to point to.

We live in flesh and always make an incomplete picture of the heavenly face to face relationship with God. The human experience will always leave us thirsty, if we come to it expecting perfect love. The lacking we find there gives us the thirst that draws to the One our soul needs. No matter how beautiful the love in our earthly relationships are, they will never satisfy the deepest thirst of our souls. It’s the truth that can bring the words true from our hearts:

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. Ps 63:1

2. Though flesh cannot perfect relationship, found in Him, our relationships can be complete.

Sometimes I compare the love I experience from people, to the love I receive in Christ and these relationships feel so very broken.

And that is just the point. Of course these relationships are broken. Of course all of our relationships are broken. Compared to Christ – broken. But found in Christ… the story is different. We’re covered with His blood. As God’s children, we don’t stand apart from Christ to compare to Him, we stand as people who are found in the shelter of His Person. “Found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith.” (Phil. 3:9) Found in Christ, me, my brothers and sisters in Christ, our relationships… they stand with Him as the righteousness of God in Jesus. (2 Cor. 5:21) He sees us together in Him and it’s all complete.   

3. God, Himself, did not give me His favor until his wrath had been expressed.

I see my friends, my family in Christ express their “wrath” toward my wrong to them (sometimes that is simply just the silent hurt that they have to process before our relationship moves forward) and I ask why they can’t accept me the way God does. But why in asking that do I think that God dismissed my sin? I forget that God had the strongest wrath toward my sin. Wrath that Jesus stood in front of me to receive. He received that most brutal blow, the loss of God’s favor, and gave me the privilege to receive that as truth. “For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime.” Ps. 30:5

Perhaps this is the most beautiful gift God has for me here. To receive new the gift Jesus gave me. To know in a new way, that God did not dismiss my sin at all, but in His holy Personhood had to express His full fury on all that was flawed in me. And Jesus chose to stand in front of me through all of that mighty blow.

Yes, first I am broken. I am a small, shy, broken person who causes hurt in the people I love most. And I am the one who has not only forgotten to view the people I love with the identity they have been given in Christ, I am the one who compares them to a false version of who God is. But that broken me has died on the cross with all of God’s wrath in the person of Jesus and I’ve been given the beautiful privilege to move forward boldly in my relationships in the person of Christ. I am found. My relationships are found with Christ and the ability to grow beyond the hurts.

My prayer is that you find God's grace pouring through your insecure moments. In this audio series, you'll receive a few quiet minutes of encouragement each month free in your email inbox. I hope it helps you find sweet gifts inside the feelings.

Story Share: Promise for strength when we’re afraid to say no

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Do you feel the pressure sometimes of needing things to slow down? And if you’re anything like me, maybe sometimes you don’t feel like you have much control over making it slow down, when really you do.

That idea that we can’t slow down our own lives is curious. Maybe it boils down to fear – fear rooted in the pressures we put on ourselves, or the pressures we feel from other people – pressures that might not even be present as much as we think they are.

When I do try to slow my life down and have time for the small things that matter most, I battle the fear that I will be judged for pushing away from busy.

It’s easy to forget why I want to say no to busy. It’s easy to wrap my own idea of who I am in all the things.

I’ve been excited to share this post of Heidi’s that I read a few days ago. Her words have stuck in my brain.

Heidi’s post opens with the tears of her son who just wants to spend some time with his mama. Heidi shares her own battle of working through it too, the things she felt pressured by…

“For many years, I was under the mistaken impression that to be busy… was to be spiritual and therefore highly esteemed. I mean, if you had a full schedule doing God’s work, this surely must increase your level of spirituality.”

The few minutes have been so worth the read for me. Heidi has filled me up with the reminder of why I need to say no sometimes. Those opening words about her son made me teary to think of my girls and I’ve been soaking in those last several paragraphs.

“What if I saw my true self, that I am uniquely created by a living, loving God? What if I saw my utter dependence upon Him, my helplessness without Him? What if, like Job, I let go of my own agenda, lay my hand over my mouth and listened to what He has to say to me?”

For all the fears that try to lead us, may we give them to our Jesus who bore them when He said, “It is finished.” May we guard our days from the pressures we feel, and embrace our freedom to be still and know You are God. Give us faith in Your promise of who and Whose we are. Give us grace to put the fear of judgment in it’s place with faith in Your promise about the mind You have given us to use.

“The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one. For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.” 1 Cor. 2:15-16

In the context of this passage, “the spiritual person” refers to anyone who is born again, who has the Holy Spirit living in them. We have this promise to hold: the mind of Christ is ours and we are able to use it. We may forget to use it at times, but as spiritual people, God has given it to us to think and act from the mind of Christ. He is our Head and no one can judge the mind of God.

We have a promise that can put every fear of another’s judgment to death.

We do not have to live in that fear because our God is gracious and His promises are good.

My prayer is that you find God's grace pouring through your insecure moments. In this audio series, you'll receive a few quiet minutes of encouragement each month free in your email inbox. I hope it helps you find sweet gifts inside the feelings.

One Thing You Can Do When You Want to Give More than Love

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This is my gallery wall where I am collecting the faces of the people I love. I’ve been thinking on what keeps me loving them and what keeps them loving me.

There is a certain smallness in the knowing that the souls of the ones I love are out of my hands. Do you feel it too? It’s a gift isn’t it – to know our people and love them and hopefully to shed some bit of hope on their life with our own.

Sometimes it’s hard to be content there though, the hardest kind of contentment. Because I feel like I’m not enough – not enough for the people I love.

There is a beauty inside our people that we went to see flourish.

Lynne Lorentsen, a writer who’s words I love, said these words that have stuck with me. “We are all eternal souls. Every person you meet will live on long past their circumstances. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.(I Cor 15:19)  This is not all we are, life trapped in a jar,  and I do not love people to gain worth. I love because people are full of worth. And worthful people will never go away.”

Those words touch the same place as words that were said at our churches missions conference. I think it was Vanessa who said the words that brought tears. She was talking about the bus driver who knocked on her door every week for years, the man God used to bring her back to Himself. “He loved me not for who I was or what I was, but for what God could make me.”

At the time, I really wanted for someone to tell me why I was crying like I was. But I think this is it. I think this is what keeps us loving our people through the good, bad and ugly – the knowing that God has made beauty inside them that wants to come out.

Maybe it’s why people love me through my ugly.

God has given it to me to be responsible for letting His beauty come out of me. That is the very thing He has given me to bear. Perhaps you could say that is my load. (“For each one shall bear his own load.” Gal. 6:5) Perhaps letting the beauty come through in all the good and bad I see in life is what I bear in the yolk with Christ. (Mt. 11:29-30)

And here is this other side of that verse that can feel small sometimes – each one bearing his own load. It speaks of “the responsibility each person has in those troubles…” (Reference) I am responsible for living through those troubles in Christ. And the people I love are responsible for bearing their own troubles in Christ.

And as if I know what’s best in this great big world, sometimes I say that’s not right. As if I’m God, I say I need to be bearing that person’s load too. But God knows better, and despite my big-headedness He still gives me this small part to play. “Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal. 6:2) This speaks of “helping one another through troubles.” (Reference.) These are the things I can do and there is one thing in all of it that is key… Because I can be present with my people. I can pray. I can help meet their physical needs. But it’s when I do these things in faith that God uses them. Do I live and think from the faith that God is in control of their story? It is here in this faith that God’s grace pours out of me onto them. This is the part I am given to play and it is a beautiful gift.

I am not given to bear anyone’s load but my own and that is for the better. Because God has a better plan. Marsha said it in our ladies group last week… That the story might not turn out how I want it too, but I can trust that God writes better stories than me.

The best gift I can give to the people I love is to trust God with their story while I walk with them through their troubles. When I live from the faith of knowing their story is in His hands, the beauty God has made in me will come out as He intended – to do whatever He has for it to do in them.

Today may we love our people with the peace that God knows exactly what He’s doing with them. May we be thankful for the part we are given to play in their life. And may we rest in the One who can write this story so much better than we can.

For today may we find the place to sit with our people and be present with them in their troubles. And may we do it with a love that is propelled with faith in what God is doing with their life.

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My prayer is that you find God's grace pouring through your insecure moments. In this audio series, you'll receive a few quiet minutes of encouragement each month free in your email inbox. I hope it helps you find sweet gifts inside the feelings.

When God Paints Portraits Through People

Maybe God can paint portraits not just with a sunset, but with my personality too, when I let Him live through it.

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There are those moments. Playing our part, we do it ever so carefully, and, if we really try, we can do it without our mistakes being noticed. Because, well, messing up feels uncomfortable, exposed, like I just showed people that I might not really know exactly what I’m doing.

I felt like that last week. I was in my little corner at the keyboard playing along with the guitars, our small group of friends singing worship with the band. I do it most every Wednesday night. And this particular night as I watched my fingers hit the keys, I thought on the little insecurities of this moment more than usual. I thought of the people who do this on a grander scale. In the church auditorium on Sundays, sometimes the distinct way a note is played can be used to stir my soul to my own need for God. In my own small way, I wanted to offer my playing that night to be used that way. I was trying to offer that, and it was coming out messy.

Playing with the band, I have two options. I can blend in and play the basic chords with no mistakes and very little notice, or I can venture with my fingertips up the keyboard and risk wrong notes. The first option is the safest. But the second option opens to the possibilities of bringing unique beauty to the hearers through my fingers. One option closes off an opportunity and the other opens to it.

There as I was playing that night, I was given this truth small and simple, a message delivered through my insecurity.

My life goes the same way.

My tendency is to try to stay safe from those insecurities. And, sometimes the little things seem even harder than the big things. I don’t know what that looks like for you. For me, as a girl who has often struggled with being very shy, it looks like being willing to play my little part in the conversation going on around me. That was where God spoke to my heart in that moment, telling me to be willing to offer myself as the person He made me to be.

It’s easy for me to sit and listen, to let my friends offer themselves to the conversation and hold myself back for fear of doing something I’ll regret. I can play the simple chords – nod in the right place, laugh when it gets funny, and say enough to get along. But what would happen if I let go a little and surrendered to let God come out of me, even if it be in something as small as adding my quirky perspective to the conversation or my simple thought that might give someone a laugh?

Maybe God can paint portraits not just with a sunset, but with my personality too – when I let Him live through it. Something happens when I open to those things. The people around me seem as if they were blessed in some small, mysterious way, as if maybe the spirit inside me communed with the spirit inside them and offered an unspoken joy to us both. Maybe there are secret passageways through small talk where a part of us runs through and blesses the other.

I know it happens. I see God shine through a friend’s personality when she says that thing that only she would say, and it stirs my soul to see my own need for the kind of freedom I just saw. She took the risk and said the quirky thing and the words didn’t have to be spiritual, to be used to bless my spirit.

These are the moments where freedom lives. This is where the mystery whispers hints into our lives and we find it true – Christ in you.

May we listen for the mystery in those moments we face today and freely allow God to live through the personality He gifted us with, even if it looks like a quirky comment to a friend.

My prayer is that you find God's grace pouring through your insecure moments. In this audio series, you'll receive a few quiet minutes of encouragement each month free in your email inbox. I hope it helps you find sweet gifts inside the feelings.

For the One Who Feels Weak Coming into Easter

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It was a Sunday morning this week, Palm Sunday. In another shy feeling moment, I said something that I meant to come across one way and I think it came across different. It was subtle enough that I didn’t feel it was important to correct, but more than that I wasn’t quite sure how I would correct it if I tried. I don’t even know now if I could even tell you what it was I said or was trying to say. I don’t even know if in the moment I could tell you how it came across wrong, and the person I was talking to probably didn’t even think anything of it. But in my mind that still struggles with this stuff, it bothered me because I felt misrepresented, or maybe misunderstood is the better word. Maybe I’m alone, but if I had to guess I’d say I wasn’t. Maybe these feelings sound familiar to someone.

For that moment, the truth was and is simply that God knew I would feel that way that morning, and He intended it for a specific purpose that within the next hour was becoming a little clear. Soon I was sitting in the church pew thinking more on that conversation than I might have otherwise because of the feelings that came with it. And thinking on the openness of the people I spoke with brought up all sorts of reminders of the bitter feelings I had chosen to listen to throughout my week.

Then within minutes, I was hearing the words of Mark 15 spoken from the pulpit. Jesus was hung on the cross between thieves.

“And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads and saying, “Aha! You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself, and come down from the cross!” So also the chief priests with the scribes mocked him to one another, saying, “He saved others; He cannot save himself. Let the Christ, the King of Israel, come down now from the cross that we may see and believe.” Those who were crucified with him also reviled him.” (Mark 15:29-32)

And I connected with this story in ways I had never before. Misunderstood. Bitter. Those were the words on my mind as I began to hear this story. Those would be the feelings in my head were I on that cross. I knew that before, yes, but the shy feelings of my morning pressed me deeper into that.

These were the words of the passerbys, the priests, the scribes, the thieves at his side. And in Sunday school we had talked of His friends. Were their thoughts very similar? These were the ones who ran when He was arrested, the ones who felt hopeless after His death and doubted that He could ever rise again. The ones who asked him upon His rising if he had not heard of the death of Jesus who was a prophet, (Luke 24) as if a prophet was all He turned out to be and as if the person of Jesus was no more. Did they not believe Him though He had told them He would rise? Though they loved Him, did they give up on who He said He was when they saw Him hanging there, looking helpless? Did they think He was powerless to step off that cross?

And if I were the one on the cross I think my heart would burn with anger and bitter hatred towards these people. These are the very people I’m doing this for, and they won’t believe in who I am. And Him, though He was still in flesh, “tempted in every way, just as we are” (Heb. 4:15) He still surrendered every temptation to savor a bitter thought… surrendered it to the very One who’s forsaking He felt the most in that moment. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34) To that same God: “Father, forgive them.” (Luke 23:34)

His words that surrendered his misunderstood moments to the Father, that focused on the Father instead of His image with people, this was His love in action. This was the love that kept Him on that cross.               

And this same love is the love He gives to me with His rising. This is the love that rescues me from all my shy moments and sees the perfect love that Jesus won for me and you. This is the glory of holy week and this is the glory of Easter.

May we thank Him this holy week for the privilege to journey through our shy moments, our weaknesses, because they are beautiful gifts that He allows to press us deeper with each step into the gift of Easter.

“There was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice… And someone ran… saying, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to take him down.” And Jesus uttered a loud cry and breathed his last. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, “Truly this man was the Son of God!””    

This was His Love poured out in death. And today that Love is alive inside of all who believe it.

 

My prayer is that you find God's grace pouring through your insecure moments. In this audio series, you'll receive a few quiet minutes of encouragement each month free in your email inbox. I hope it helps you find sweet gifts inside the feelings.

Story Share: When Love is a Journey

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At the beginning of holy week, when we think on the One who chose to love us through the pain and hard moments, may we find little tastes of His struggle in our own small moments where we find love to be a journey. Because I think we all know how it is to struggle to love somebody, to want to make that choice, even when the choice hurts. And Jesus made that choice most fierce of all for us, enduring all the pain and unappreciated efforts to the farthest extreme in order to love us.

I’m enjoying Wendy’s post this morning about the people who you feel a little shy and unknowing about how to love. I’m feeling her feelings and seeing how my Jesus felt much the same on this holy week. Read Wendy’s post here.

Jesus, may we step into holy week reminded to slow and see you in every shy moment we face, because in Your pouring out of love, you have faced all the moments before us. May we let the journey of today press us deeper into the heart of Your cross. When we feel the long journey of love in our life, may we slow to see you pointing to the love you poured out there. To see the journey you took to get there and the blank responses you got along the way. To see the love You choose to step into every day of your life even though it didn’t feel good. To see You loving us through the awkward life you lived to be human like us and love us even in your human-ness. Be our grace to hold today in every moment of the journey.

 

My prayer is that you find God's grace pouring through your insecure moments. In this audio series, you'll receive a few quiet minutes of encouragement each month free in your email inbox. I hope it helps you find sweet gifts inside the feelings.

When You Need a Rescue from Yourself

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Last night, I was desperately longing for a rescue from my own self. Maybe you’re living there too. For me, it was two and I was waiting for bedtime. I was up with my girl who couldn’t sleep. I wanted sleep, and more than that I wanted time with my husband who’s been so busy trying to keep the bills paid. And I was having ugly, griping thoughts that I would rather you not hear. Ugly filled my mind. Then I thought about my thoughts and I felt yuck. Pitiful and messy. Hopeless wreck, that’s me. With eyes closed and to the tune of my girl’s cries that went on, I said the only thing my sleepy mind could think of that felt like a rescue from the ugly wife and mother that I saw inside this head: God is on the throne.

The ugly is there and I hate feeling ugly. Ugly is often what my mind looks like and I know it well.

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” (Romans 7:15)

But this is the beginning of another reason to press deeper into what Jesus did for me. Because though I have broken God’s law yet again, this is the truth for me: “You also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God.” (Romans 7:4) When I gave myself to Jesus, I let myself die so that I wouldn’t have to belong to the ugly person I saw inside me. I died so I could belong to Another.

The ugly I see inside me is an ugly person I carry with me, but that person has already died with Jesus. And since that person is dead, she has no ownership of me. “Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” (Romans 7:20) I hate the ugly me and I want to avoid her, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t live a day without seeing her.

That is why Jesus died. He is my rescue. He died so that this ugly person inside me could die. That ugly me will exist inside this body for all my time on earth, but the Romans killed her with Jesus on the cross. She lives inside me, but you know, she’s dead, and she has no say over me.

“Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24-25)

It’s a truth I’ve been given to enjoy this week, a gift God sneaked to me through a shot at the dentist. That shot that numbed my face on Wednesday, made my mouth look a bit crooked, with one cheek bigger than the other. I really think it looks better in the pictures than it did in real life. And while it felt a little funny seeing the looks I got from people that day, it was also something that was fun to take pictures of because I knew I would only look that way for a little while. Because I knew that while that was in fact, my face, it wasn’t really my face. If I just remembered what I really looked like, or more importantly, who I really was, then my two-sided face didn’t really feel embarrassing.

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And God used that to press me further into the freeing truth of who I really am. This is what He did for me. Despite any ugliness I see in my life on this earth, holy is who I am because that is what He is. He is the one who owns me and that is the most beautiful rescue from that ugly, old, dead, sinful me.

Maybe you need to be rescued from yourself today too. I get it. The sinful you is downright ugly just like the sinful me and that’s the truth. May we live in faith to hold tight to our lifeline today, “having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit.” (Romans 7:6)

Rest into Jesus and rejoice in who you are. Because in Him, you are downright beautiful.   

My prayer is that you find God's grace pouring through your insecure moments. In this audio series, you'll receive a few quiet minutes of encouragement each month free in your email inbox. I hope it helps you find sweet gifts inside the feelings.

Story Share: When It’s Time to Shed Life’s Pressures

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Maybe you feel wound up with the pressures of life today and need a safe place to shed all the things. If that’s you, I want to point you over to Niki Hardy’s post today where she shares some of her beautiful story and identifies with a lobster shedding its shell. Find her lobster post here. She’s fun to read and shares her cancer story and grace testimony at mystorymygod.com

Her explanation of the lobster’s life and invitation to “set your inner-lobster free” has been a sweet call for me to settle down into my Rock and Fortress and release my stress and insufficiency there in front of the ONe who has already taken them on Himself. Some of my favorite words from her post…

I wish I were more lobster-like today as I deal with the pressures, stress and discomforts of life.

The lobster-like me would instinctively understand that as soon as I feel squeezed, pressured, overwhelmed, and about to burst, that’s my signal to hunker down under The Rock. Under the safety of the true rock I am protected and safe to discard the emotions, beliefs and lies that are holding me back. Protected from the enemy I am safe to be naked for a while and free to grow.

Jesus, make us willing to come to you when the pressures of life make us feel hopeless and lost. When we feel insufficient and small or overwhelmed and frustrated draw us to “hunker down under The Rock.” Make the safe fortress we find in You our first place to seek comfort in the stresses we face this week. Make us bold to shed our tough skin in front of the One who made us and knows us. In the name of Jesus, may we be quick to go there.

My prayer is that you find God's grace pouring through your insecure moments. In this audio series, you'll receive a few quiet minutes of encouragement each month free in your email inbox. I hope it helps you find sweet gifts inside the feelings.

When the Options of Life are Overwhelming

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Every day, we all face what can easily become an overwhelming number of options. Each of us can live this day so many different ways. One small decision can change the course of our day and the course of our lives. And that can get overwhelming fast. Sometimes I just want to shy away and escape the decision making for a little while, but that itself is a decision. All we can do to make good with the options in front of us is to simply rest into the Spirit of God and do the thing that seems good.

The questions come easy. What if I choose the wrong thing? What if I choose something that’s too big for me? What if I choose something that’s too small. And the ‘me’ is what messes me up – when I’m afraid something is too big, too small for me. The truth is that I’m a Child of God. The Spirit lives in and is able to live through me and, as such, nothing is too big or too small.

It’s a matter of seeing the one thing in front of me that seems good and recieving it. That is what Luke did when he wrote his gospel. He decided to write because “it seemed good.” (Luke 1:3) He began his writing, though perhaps it seems he felt both small and big about doing it.

“Inasmuch as many have undertaken to compile a narrative of the things that have been accomplished among us, just as those who from the beginning were eyewitnesses and ministers of the word have delivered them to us, it seemed good to me also, having followed all things closely for some time past, to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, that you may have certainty concerning the things you have been taught.” (Luke 1:1-4, emphasis added)

Luke was taking up the task of writing down the life of Jesus as he knew it. He knew this had been done many times before so perhaps it felt a bit like a very small offering. Yet, some who had written had had closer contact to Jesus than he did. So perhaps it was easy for him to feel like he was trying to do something too big. Yet, writing these words down for Theophilus was what seemed good to do.

I don’t think Luke denied his feelings about writing. He admits his circumstances clearly here. But he worked through it and he recieved the Holy Spirit in him doing this thing that seemed good.

I love this story of Luke because it resonates so deeply with the way I often feel about life. Things that feel small, like laundry and dishes and changing diapers – though they do indeed feel small, they are things God has given me to do. The Spirit can live big through my small rinsing of dishes. Things that feel big, like being responsible for little lives, like teaching, or being asked for advice – though they can feel too big for me, I can rest in the Spirit inside to do through me. Sometimes I don’t, but the truth still stands that I can.

Maybe the circumstances look a little different for you, but maybe you know those feelings all too well.

For today may we do as Luke did. May we be willing to admit the feelings and willing even then to do the thing that seems good for now, no matter how big or small it may be. Because if we have the Spirit inside us, nothing is too big, nothing too small for the glory of God to live through.

 

My prayer is that you find God's grace pouring through your insecure moments. In this audio series, you'll receive a few quiet minutes of encouragement each month free in your email inbox. I hope it helps you find sweet gifts inside the feelings.