Those people I most want to impress I always cower from despite my greatest efforts. A blessing from a God who knows my insides, my downfalls. Who knows that if I did impress I would fall to my face in pride. My flesh longs to impress the ones who walk with the Spirit, as if I actually could impress God’s Spirit when He already sees the way I compare, the way I measure my progress, and deny all the worth He’s given me for the fruitless attempts I make at finding pleasure in being better. Fleshly attempts at satisfaction that always leave me in a rut, and I stand there in front of the people I admire most as shy and empty as I can be. And He reminds me of my brokenness and humbles me to bring me to Him. And I come again empty handed and here I am worthless and given all worth in the arms of a God who gave me that worth while I was yet sinning, while I was still making my mess. He loves me and that is all, all that matters, and He uses each person I try to impress to make me see my mess, and remind me that He loved me in the midst of it. It is in acknowledging my mess that His strength is made perfect and there His grace abounds. But so often I try to let no one see my mess. Its always my mess though that He uses to draw my eyes off myself onto the One who matters, so that I can see past my work, past my progress to the One who has done all that work and made all the progress because I never could. I’m not a mess, not really. I am found in Him and perfect, and I will strive to abide in Him, but so often I deny that and live in my mess. I’m still flesh, I still make messes, so let me live my life acknowledging my mess. When my bed is unmade, let people see, so they know I am just like them. When my heart is unmade, unled by the Spirit, let the mess show and be useful. Let the mess be a blessing to another heart and let it bring my own heart to my knees before the One who has already bore all the weight of it on the tree.
My prayer is that you find God's grace pouring through your insecure moments. In this audio series, you'll receive a few quiet minutes of encouragement each month free in your email inbox. I hope it helps you find sweet gifts inside the feelings.